Lelouch vs Spike
by Windrises
Summary: Lelouch and Spike are getting desperate so they battle each other.


Note: Both Code Geass and Cowboy Bebop are animes that were done by the studio Sunrise.

Lelouch Lamperouge started dancing in the sink. C. C. looked around and saw what he was doing. She folded her arms and said, "Stop dancing in the sink."

Lelouch asked, "What's wrong with dancing in the sink?"

C. C. said, "It's immature and bizarre."

Lelouch proudly proclaimed, "I'm the prince of immature bizarreness."

C. C. replied, "You're also Japan's greatest hero which means that you have to act like a responsible role model."

Lelouch responded, "Very well then." Lelouch jumped out of the sink and landed on the kitchen floor. He got up and started drinking a container of sewer water.

C. C. looked at Lelouch and said, "You better be drinking something healthy."

Lelouch tried to make himself sound more reasonable than he actually was. He said, "I'm drinking a bucket of health crap."

C. C. wasn't buying Lelouch's lie and it was understandable why. Lelouch was often smart when it came to outsmarting his enemies, but he acted like an immature goofball when it came to the most basic of things. C. C. said, "I know that you aren't drinking a healthy drink."

Lelouch asked, "Why would you assume such a thing?"

C. C. smiled and said, "I know that health crap isn't a type of drink."

Lelouch replied, "I disagree. It seems to be the only thing in Suzaku's refrigerator."

C. C. asked, "How would you know?"

Lelouch said, "I visit Suzaku's refrigerator three times a day."

C. C. loved Lelouch, but she was getting tired of him doing such immature things and putting so little effort into acting like a good person. She said, "Lelouch, you need to start growing up."

Lelouch whined, "Come on C. C. Growing up is like a relative that I put all my effort into avoiding. I can't grow up. It would be an insult to my childish nature. I need to keep dancing and crash landing around the living room. It's what society needs."

C. C. asked, "Do you really think society benefits from you be a slapstick simpleton?"

Lelouch said, "Of course it does. The world would be lost without my antics. I feed the brains with my immaturity. It's not just my natural state. It's what makes this country so good."

C. C. replied, "No offense honey, but you're starting to lose it."

Lelouch said, "That is incredibly false information. I've been benefiting the safety and entertainment value of the world."

C. C. replied, "You need to go and do something productive with your life."

Lelouch struggled to ever win an argument with C. C. She had more common sense and had more wit and self-respect than Lelouch has ever had. Lelouch decided to give up. After all, giving up was one of his most recurring habits. He said, "Very well then. I'm going to start doing something incredibly productive."

C. C. still had doubts about Lelouch. Lelouch often claimed that he would do something good, but that usually led to him doing immature crap for the heck of it. She stared at Lelouch and asked, "What are you planning on doing?"

Lelouch had a proud and smug look on his face while saying, "I'm going to do something amazing. I don't want to spoil what my big plan is, but I'm going to change the history of how we think in a super cool way."

C. C. folded her arms and replied, "It sounds like you're just saying your usual brand of nonsense." Lelouch paused in terror, because he had been caught. He had nothing planned. He was just saying whatever weird words came to his head. He walked out of the house.

Meanwhile Spike Spiegel was in his hideout and was smoking for the fifth time that day. Faye Valentine said, "Knock that off. Don't you know how unhealthy that crap is?"

Spike sounded tired while replying, "Give me a break Faye."

Faye folded her arms and said, "I don't think so. You take more breaks than you do work opportunities."

Spike asked, "Isn't working a waste of time?"

Faye said, "No, you're the one who's wasting time. Start doing something useful with your life."

Spike tried to sound dignified while saying, "Hey, I've done plenty of life-changing things today."

Faye had a great deal of doubt for Spike so she said, "Oh really? Then feel free to inform me about all the spectacularly helpful things that you've done today."

Spike said, "I littered, I broke a fruit stand in half, and I got scratched up by a cat."

Faye replied, "I used to think that you were some kind of special hero."

Spike smiled and said, "I'm still amazing. I'm like one of the biggest heroes ever."

Faye replied, "Then start doing heroic things."

Spike spent a few minutes thinking about what to do. He finally got off the couch and said, "I'm going to go out."

Faye asked, "What are you going to do?"

Spike explained, "I don't know all of the details yet, but I have a strong feeling that I'm going to do something good." Spike spent ten minutes getting chip crumbs off of him before storming out of his hideout and running around the city.

Lelouch started dancing around the city. He accidentally crashed into a bunch of people. Lelouch felt confident about being one of the world's greatest heroes, but it sure was debatable if he qualified as that. Several people were able to defeat Lelouch by giving him a quick punch. Lelouch didn't exactly have the tough guy image that he wanted to. He was more of a soft and easily defeated type of person.

Lelouch walked to one of the docks. He looked around and enjoyed the view of the ocean and the darkness of the sky. He didn't even know what time of day it was, but Lelouch's care was in the uninterested section. He wanted somebody challenging to come by so that he could prove that he was a great fighter.

Spike came by to the dock and was smoking for the sixth time that day. Lelouch saw him and said, "Smoking is bad for you dude."

Spike coldly asked, "Do you think that I care about that?"

Lelouch observed Spike and said, "You don't seem like the type of person that has any kind of interest in being safe or having any respect for authority."

Spike was amused by Lelouch so he replied, "You don't seem to be any superior to me. In fact, you look like an immature doofus who unfairly judges others."

Lelouch wanted Spike to fight him so he said, "You sound like the type of person that wants to bring it on."

Spike asked, "What do you mean?"

Lelouch said, "You seem like the person that's ready for a fight."

Spike thought about it and figured that beating up Lelouch would make Faye think that he's a super useful and powerful hero. Spike got his fists ready and said, "Bring it on."

Lelouch replied, "Okay then." Lelouch punched Spike in the face.

Spike said, "A bigger move than I was expecting. However, don't expect to get any kind of victory from this fight." Spike kicked Lelouch four times in a row.

Lelouch said, "It seems like you have no respect for playing things fairly. You're supposed to let me take a shot at you after each hit."

Spike smiled and replied, "I don't respect the rules bro."

Lelouch responded, "Well, I hope that you're a respectful loser, because I assure you that you're going to be the loser of this fight."

Spike said, "You seem like the most overconfident doofus ever."

Lelouch proudly replied, "I'm the prince of overconfident lameness."

Spike punched and kicked Lelouch around several times. Lelouch tried to prove that he had some decent fighting skills by giving Spike a few punches and kicks of his own. However, Lelouch was lacking when compared to Spike. Lelouch said, "Come on bro. Can't you cut it out?"

Spike said, "What an amusing situation. You were the one who was begging for the fight to start, yet you're the one begging for the fight's finale."

Lelouch replied, "I actually think that seems fitting."

Spike paused and asked, "What do you mean?"

Lelouch said, "Since I asked for the fight's start, it makes me seem smart for asking for it to end. Continuity is important."

Spike was tired of the random words that came out of Lelouch's mouth. Spike said, "I'm going to give you your stupid finale." He picked up Lelouch and threw him into the river. At first, Spike felt like he did the right thing, but he realized that sending Lelouch to his doom was hardly honorable. He jumped into the ocean and grabbed Lelouch.

Lelouch said, "Thanks dude. It seems like you're the winner of this fight."

Spike replied, "Nah, lets just forget about fights and focus on doing something better with our lives."

Lelouch responded, "Sounds good to me." Lelouch and Spike shook hands and started preparing themselves for a less violent life.


End file.
